Animal Cruelty

I am a terrible person. According to the RSPCA, as the keeper of two ‘exotic’ pets (a crested gecko and a bearded dragon), I contribute to the number of people keeping ‘wild animals…in captivity,’ which serves to magnify the suffering of these creatures.

It is fine, however, for me to keep my rabbit as a pet, as he is an example of a species that has undergone years of domestication, which apparently serves to make him a suitable companion, much like dogs, cats, the domestic pigeon (!) and the domesticated Bactrian camel (!!!).

The final pledge of the five that have been put into practice by the RSPCA to ‘help animals to improve their welfare’ states: ‘We pledge to reduce the number of exotic animals kept as pets and increase their humane care.’ The latter part of this I really take no issue with. I am, however, baffled as to why the RSPCA seem to believe that simply because an animal is ‘domesticated’, it must make for a healthier, happier pet than one who is not.

To ‘domesticate’ an animal is ‘to tame (an animal), especially by generations of breeding, to live in close association with human beings as a pet or work animal and usually creating a dependency so that the animal loses its ability to live in the wild.’ Some charming eventualities of this have included:

•    Boxer dogs commonly suffering from epilepsy as a result of inbreeding to retain their pedigree.
•    Dyspnea in Pugs and Bulldogs.
•    High occurrences of cancer in Rottweilers.
•    Polycystic kidney disease in Maine Coon and Persian cats.
•    Glycogen branching enzyme deficiency in horses.

It, therefore, shocks me that the RSPCA intend to stop the general public from breeding animals such as lizards, where the majority of common health problems can be avoided with good husbandry, but not pedigree dogs. Whilst I am not intending to criticise dog breeders, it is difficult to understand the RSPCA’s endorsement of keeping animals whose breeding alone almost assures a shorter lifespan, compared to undomesticated animals who generally do not suffer from these issues.

The RSPCA claim that the husbandry of exotic animals is often inadequate. They claim that up to 15% of captive reptiles suffer from malnutrition. Whilst I don’t dispute this fact, as there are incompetent reptile keepers out there, it is difficult to take husbandry advice from an association that solicits the use of heat mats in bearded dragon vivariums. This is nonsensical due to the fact that bearded dragons are almost completely unable to sense and absorb heat through their stomachs, meaning that they can be burnt by the mat whilst getting not benefitting from the heat. I also believe I have the support of many reptile keepers when I say that the specific needs of reptiles often make us more researched and passionate about our animals.

I’m sure there are many imbeciles out there who buy iguanas off the cuff and give them away when it emerges they are not cute and cuddly, but the scale on which this happens is surely insignificant compared to more common pets, such as dogs or cats. At my local rehoming centre, there were 117 Staffordshire Bull Terriers versus absolutely no reptiles. Again, I am not criticising staffie owners, I am merely pointing out which way the scales seem to tip.

Yes, my bearded dragon and crested gecko are not domesticated, but that’s because they don’t need domesticating. My beardie is as docile as pets come, except at feeding times! I do agree, however, with the RSPCA’s proposal of requiring a license to own all exotic animals (some species already need one), I just think this should be extended to dogs as well. I would also like the finger to be pointed in all directions, not just at us irresponsible, abhorrent reptile keepers.

Farewell, monthly donations…

Exams, Exams, Exams

I appreciate this would have been far more relevant a few days ago, and that this is by no account my area of expertise, but I would still like to speak my mind.

This past May, I sat A-level unit examinations for the first time, the results of which came back last Thursday. The wait for results is bad enough, without being treated to articles like this during the build-up.

It’s incredibly difficult to actually explain what ‘grade inflation’ is, or what Ofqual and the government have actually done about it, considering the extremely high levels of bias in media sources that always present themselves when it comes to education. However, it pretty much means that more and more students have been getting good grades, and, therefore that ‘must’ mean that exams are getting easier and/or ‘A’ grades are decreasing in value.

Subsequently, Ofqual have said that they need to find a way to “manage..the persistent grade inflation”. They have denied ‘fixing’ the results, but former exam board official Kevin Stannard has said, “grade inflation is a systemic feature of criterion-based exams, so if there isn’t a record percentage of pupils getting top grades again this year, it suggests something quite disturbing: the system isn’t so much broken as corrupt…Someone will have decided to raise the bar, not by setting more difficult questions but simply raising the boundary mark for particular grades.”

Many lecturers and students complained of high grade boundaries this year, and I must admit that my heart sank when I first saw them. Some subjects, of course, were unaffected, but some had the highest (or among the highest) grade boundaries in recent times.

It’s not easy reading newspapers as a student. First of all, you can’t decide whether your hard-earned A grades have ‘bedevilled’ the exam system (who other than the Telegraph?) or if you are simply victims of a failing system. It’s clear that the media cannot make up their mind.

Many politicians, journalists, and even teachers have weighed in about grade inflation, and given their views on whether or not exams are getting easier, and the ‘dumbing down’ of exams. There doesn’t seem to be much representation of students in the media, however, which I find both strange and rude. It’s a bit like having a ‘size zero’ debate whilst Kate Moss is within earshot.

Therefore, let me tell you on behalf of myself and many of my peers, exactly what I think about grade inflation, the ‘dumbing down’ of exams, and the level of difficulty those exams present…

In the grand scheme of things, there are thousands of A-level students. Some of them speak English as their first language, some do not; some struggle financially, some do not; some live at home, some do not; some have had personal hardships, some have not; some work to support themselves, some do not; some students slack, some do not. We are all human beings, with different aptitudes, and situations that can change from one day to the next. Different exams present different challenges to different people, and the ability of a student to cope with those difficulties are different at different times depending on personal circumstance. It is irrelevant to ask whether or not exams are getting harder, as we are all human beings with varying experiences, trying to get through life as best we can. Anyone who disagrees is CLEARLY not a student, and clearly hasn’t been one for quite some time.

On a more personal, if less eloquent, level, I would like to say thank you to publications like the Telegraph, and government departments such as Ofqual. Thank you, first of all, for not listening to students. Thank you for telling me that the only reason I did well last week was because the exams were getting easier anyway, and that I actually should have just sailed through them. Thank you for convincing me that the HOURS AND HOURS I spent revising for my exams, whilst trying to look after my mortgaged flat, whilst working all weekend (EVERY weekend), whilst attending lectures five days a week, whilst spending hours commuting everyday, were worth ABSOLUTELY NOTHING because the exams were SO DAMN EASY. Oh, and, thank you in advance, for thinking that the above text is simply the frustrated ramblings of a student who did badly last week. Because I actually did well. No thanks to you.

Another Amazing Discovery

A year ago, scientists at UC Berkley spent a few hours watching movie trailers. Although this may initially seem like a relaxing way to spend their time at work, they were actually inside fMRI machines at the time. The fMRI system tracked the flow of blood through the researchers’ visual cortexes – the area of the brain that processes visual information.

Computer software then decoded the signals from the fMRI, dividing them into volumetric pixels – pictographic representations of the movements of the images being processed by the brain. The computer then analysed 18 million seconds worth of video, and found, from those 18 million seconds, 100 clips that most closely represented the original brain activity. This was the end result:

This research is barely in its initial stages, and could give rise to us being able to record our dreams, memories and ideas. Think of film directors being able to put their ideas straight onto film – no more crappy CGI; or being able to record precious memories, without worrying about files being erased, negatives being lost, etc. Basically, it sticks its middle finger up to the digital camera!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I want to study neuroscience.

Iguanas: Occupying Niches; or, Gratuitous Pictures of Lizards

As a child I absolutely adored lizards. Over the last couple of years, my love for lizards has re-emerged with a vengeance, a passion which was nourished a year ago when we acquired a (then) six month old bearded dragon named Mushu.

Recently, our mini-zoo expanded further with the addition of a five month old crested gecko. He – or, at least we think it’s a ‘he’ (it’s notoriously tricky to sex juvenile lizards) – is one of the most fascinating creatures I have ever encountered. He has the ability to move faster than my eyes can adequately track, and has the softest skin I have ever felt.

In addition, the bones in the feet of crested geckos are so small you can barely feel them when handling one. It gives the feeling that you are holding something almost as light as air, in spite of them utilising the setae (very small hair-like structures) on their toes in order to cling to your skin.

This ever-growing love of all things Lacertilia lead me to think back to a particular holiday I had as a child in Florida – a place that happens to be crawling with reptiles. There was one particular type of lizard I remember seeing all over the hotel gardens, which I, retrospectively, believed to be the iguana. They were green, had long claws, striped tails and possessed dewlaps. Having seen captive iguanas, these wild lizards seemed to be a lot smaller than their caged counterparts, however, I had attributed this to their proximity to humans (a consequence of which may have been that they did not live as long and, hence, were small).

However, when researching lizards native to Florida, I was saddened to learn that the iguana was not one of them, and began to doubt the accuracy of my memory (I was eight at the time!). Perhaps it was not iguanas that I had seen. Many different species of gecko and skink are native to Florida, but the iguana is not. In fact, the iguana is not native to any part of the United States.

But I was not wrong. Whilst not native to Florida, iguanas certainly do live there. It seems unwanted and escaped pet iguanas have now firmly established themselves in the Florida Keys, largely due to the subtropical climate of the Keys, as well as widely available vegetation. Insufficient predation has enabled their population to grow rapidly, and they are increasingly getting a reputation as a nuisance species due to their fondness of defecating in private pools! A fact probably made all the more infuriating by the iguana’s tendency to carry Salmonella bacteria.

Subsequently, many local residents are resorting to desperate measures to keep the iguana population in check, which varies from using iguana repellent to eating the iguanas!

The invasive species hit the headlines in 2010, when many brumating iguanas fell from the trees simultaneously as Florida temperatures dropped to record lows. Iguanas are one of many lizard species that brumate, along with my own bearded dragon. Brumation is akin to a ‘mild hibernation’, whereby the reptile will become more dormant in colder temperatures, with their metabolic processes slowing down, however, unlike in hibernation, they do not cease eating completely and they do not sleep through the entirety of their brumation. The cold weather had slowed their blood stream, causing these reptiles to stop gripping the tree branches as efficiently, and to fall, only to wake up several hours later and terrify local residents, who assumed they were dead!